The day after I left my teaching job at the beginning of the year, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. I think it was a combination of things – relief, alllll the emotions, exhaustion, sleep deprivation, all the anxiety I’d been feeling… I think it all just caught up with me a bit.
Anyway, I had a shower in an attempt to make myself feel slightly more human. Ignoring the fact that I could hear the twiglets next door destroying their bedroom and each other, I decided to take the extra 5 minutes in the shower to shave my legs. I knew it would make me feel that bit… nicer, you know? As I did, I thought ‘ooh I’m doing some self care!’ Then I quickly checked myself and thought ‘no – you’re shaving your legs because you resemble a yeti and could probably weave an entire rug out of your leg hair you tit!’ 🙈
This is kind of a hard post to write… But I’ve seen so many posts recently from mums who are struggling with their little ones only wanting them, and not wanting to be with their other half. Now I totally get the whole feeling of being touched out and having your personal space invaded by small people allllllll day. So I get that it would be really hard to be the one solely in demand all the time, and not be able to hand over the reins to someone else for a bit. But what about if it’s the other way round? How do you cope when your child prefers your partner to you?
In some ways, it feels like only yesterday that we were sat on the sofa in our living room, having just returned from hospital, with two tiny, helpless babies in car seats, looking at each other like ‘so wtf do we do now?!’ Overwhelmed, emotional and bloody knackered…
I’m currently sat in Costa with a coconut latte and a toastie, enjoying a rare couple of hours of peace and quiet. It’s half term and the twiglets are at a Playball camp for the morning. I’m trying to relax and appreciate the time to myself but I can’t help but think about the fraught, stressful few hours we had before we left the house earlier…
I thought I’d share a few of my memorable moments of first-time parenthood so far. I’ve used the word ‘alternative’ because they’re probably not the moments you might expect – baby’s first smile, baby learning to walk etc. Not those ones. These are probably a little more… silly. But sometimes it’s the silly little things that can make a significant difference to your life and how you feel about this crazy rollercoaster called parenting 🤪
Sleep. When you have a new baby, it’s one of the questions everyone asks you – ‘How are they sleeping?’ You almost get sick of talking about it, especially when you have not one but two rubbish sleepers. At least when they’re babies though, you feel like you’re in good company – all the mums you meet are moaning about lack of sleep and surviving on coffee. You feel like you’re all in it together, helping each other through. What I’ve found is that it’s a much lonelier place when your children are 3 and a half and *still* not sleeping.