Any affiliate links in this post will be clearly marked with a * and if you click a link and buy a product, then I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my blog!
You may know that our little C has been struggling to manage her anger lately. A lot of children go through phases where they find regulating their emotions tricky. We’re not sure as yet whether it is just a phase for her, but nevertheless we are using a variety of techniques to try to help her manage her big feelings safely. So I thought I’d share some of the calming down strategies for kids that we’ve come across and/or tried. Thankfully there are lots of them out there so we still have plenty left to try!
1. Go to a safe space or corner
With C, we set up a little safe space for her in her bedroom. It has cushions, blankets, soft toys and her Happy Box, which contains lots of items and ideas to help her to calm down.
2. Blow bubbles
Bubbles are just amazing aren’t they? We love bubbles. They’re a fantastic distraction but also a really good sensory experience for kids. The act of blowing bubbles can be amazing for calming and regulating breathing. And watching the bubbles can also be wonderfully relaxing too. Or tearing about popping them can release some pent-up energy!
3. Squeeze a squishy ball
Squishing something in their hands can be a great way for kids to relieve tension and frustration.
4. Use a weighted blanket or cushion
For lots of children who like the feeling of pressure or weight, a weighted blanket or cushion can be really calming. We bought a Frozen one for C from John Lewis and she loves it. Check out this post for some of the best weighted blankets to buy 🙂
5. Do some crafting
Obviously this may well depend on your child – I have one child who LOVES crafting and one child who hates it with a passion! C is the one who loves it though so it is often what she will take herself off to do, when she needs to calm down. If she’s distressed, she will often start furiously making various creations, often involving lots of chopping up of small bits of paper! Her creativity amazes me and I can see what an outlet it is for her.
6. Hang upside down/stand on head
It sounds a bit mad but being upside down can be quite calming for some children. It’s an amazing way to stimulate the vestibular system which can be fantastic for some kids to self-regulate. Check out this post for some great products for sensory seeking children.
7. Count slowly forwards or backwards
This has varied success for us. If C is in a complete rage, it’s very difficult to get her to step back and do this. This is almost for once she’s initially calmed down a bit. But the act of counting slowly can be great for refocusing the mind, grounding and just slowing everything down. Counting backwards works especially well as the child really has to think about it.
8. Do some deep breathing
From the ELSA team at school, we received some small laminated stars with ‘breathe in’ and ‘breathe out’ on each ‘arm’ of the star. So the child can trace around the star with their finger and follow the instructions to breathe in and out slowly. We’ve found this (sometimes!) effective with C as there’s something visual for her to focus on, rather than just telling her to take deep breaths.
9. Tightly cuddle (or hit!) a soft toy or cushion
C has cushions and a few cuddly toys that aren’t so special in her safe space/calm corner. So if she becomes aggressive, we can try to redirect her to take out her anger on those instead of us (again, varied success there!)
10. Pop bubble wrap
Or as a reusable and more eco-friendly alternative to bubble wrap, we bought this push popper toy from Amazon which also works really well 🙂
* affiliate link
11. Jump on a trampoline
We don’t actually have a trampoline of the right size at the moment, but our poor battered sofa is serving as a substitute! I think we definitely need to get one though, as C loves jumping and it seems to really help her regulate.
12. Do some mindfulness colouring
This one can be quite a successful one for us sometimes. You can buy mindfulness colouring books for kids from all sorts of places. We also have the Usborne Unworry magic painting books that I mentioned in my post about children’s books for anxiety. Or you can download and print mindfulness colouring pages from sites like Twinkl, who have a great selection.
13. Have a bubble bath
Sometimes if all else fails, water can be one of the best calming down strategies for kids. And with bubbles, even better!
14. Listen to calming sounds/stories
We love the Moshi app at bedtime. But there are also lots of relaxing mindfulness stories that can be used at any time of the day, to help kids calm down if they are angry or anxious.
15. Play with playdough or slime
A bit of messy play is so tactile and great for helping kids to regulate themselves when they’re overwhelmed. We love the Gelli Baff slime products from Zimpli Kids – they’re great for sensory play.
More colourful sensory play ideas here 🙂
16. Have some time to themselves
If C is really in a rage, this is often the only thing that actually works. We make sure she is somewhere safe and then give her some time alone to work through her feelings. It is NOT posed in any way as a ‘time out’ as this would imply that we’re punishing her.
Everyone parents differently and of course you have to do what’s right for your kids and your family. But when C is genuinely angry, she is totally overwhelmed and punishing her would be counter-productive. Instead we try to let her know that we’re on her side and we want to help her. We tell her it’s ok to feel angry but we have to let it out in a safe way.
17. Have a hug
For C, wanting a hug often comes after she has already calmed down a fair amount. But occasionally, when she’s really beside herself, a cuddle is just what she wants. So I tend to always offer one in moments of distress, just in case 🙂
18. Stretch
Having a good stretch can help encourage kids to slow down and take their mind off whatever they’re angry about. Cosmic Kids Yoga or Jumpstart Jonny chillout sessions are fab for gentle yet fun stretching exercises.
19. Go out for a walk, scoot or cycle
Sometimes getting out for a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery can be one of the best calming down strategies for kids. It can make the world of difference. Of course, getting out in the first place can be a bit of a battle, but it’s invariably worth it. Scooting or cycling can be particularly regulating.
20. Have a drink of water or piece of fruit
Just the simple act of eating or drinking something can be a great grounding tool to focus the child’s senses on something other than their big emotions. It’s not to distract them as such but more to ground them back down so they can process things in a more rational way. Crunchy foods can be particularly helpful for regulating.
Thanks for reading! I hope this may have given you some good ideas of calming down strategies to use with your kids.
Til next time,
Hannah xx
Like it? Pin it!
Check out these posts:
17 Comments
Fantastic ideas to help calm down a child. Both my boys love them rainbow pop fidget toys perfect distraction X #mischiefandmemories
I love all these ideas! They all have that re-set element, where littles can allow themselves to be distracted from the big emotions and then they can gradually come down from being cross, without feeling embarrassed or self conscious. Love the bubble popping toy. I’ve been meaning to buy one of those. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories xx
These are all great techniques.
Great post with such super helpful advice. I keep hearing about the weighted blankets please let me know if you try one out and how it goes xx #Mischiefandmemories
My eldest really struggled when he was a toddler to express himself and often went non verbal so it was tough to find out what had upset him. Of course, now he never stops talking! Distraction techniques are good and managing to stay calm yourself! Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories
This a great post for us as we have one little one who also has trouble with those big feelings. I am bookmarking this! #MischiefsandMemories
I could do with some of these myself! Great ideas & practical too #mischiefandmemories
Thanks Hannah this is a great list, I know both my boys love their pop it and a jump on the trampoline to wind down after school. #KCACOLS
There are some amazing and easily do-able ideas in here. Great post – and so applicable to kids during these unprecedented times!
#fortheloveofbloglinky
Some wonderful suggestions here. I think it’s so important that we teach children how to manage big emotions rather than punishing/ignoring them. Validating someone’s feelings is so powerful. My 3 year old is a little young for some techniques, distraction tends to work best for her but as an autistic adult myself that gets very frustrated on occasions I find bubbles, colouring and being creative very effective. I also find a good swearing session helpful but I’m not sure we should be recommending that to kids haha! Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS
Katrina x
Great tips. Thank you. I have been trying the mindfulness route for my daughter, as a way of helping her process those big emotions she has. Breathing and upside down are both great too! #fortheloveofblog
Getting outside really works for us, ora bt of quiet time if things have got a bit heated. I like the idea of a weighted blanket or toy too, but haven’t tried it yet, I think it could really work for my boy. I must look into it. #fortheloveofblog
Some really good ideas here. My little man is almost 3 and is starting to struggle to control his emotion when upset or angry. I’ll give a few of these tips a try next time (which I’m sure won’t be long!)
#fortheloveofblog
Great ideas here. As a teacher I have used many of these and they really work. Many parents will find this super useful. A great read. #fortheloveofblog
Some great ideas here! Currently my daughter’s favourite calming down strategy is blowing bubbles. What’s great is as they get older they are able to turn to these things themselves as they realise they need to self soothe. Thanks for linking up to #ForTheLoveofBlog!
Love these ideas for calming a child I think I have use at least half of them fab read #fortheloveofblog
Pingback: Welcome to #ForTheLoveOfBlog Linky - week 2!
These are great strategies! it’s lovely to see how you’ve got so many supportive ways of helping your daughter when things get too much for her. Things that offer proprioceptive input, like pressure, squeezing or bouncing, have generally been of great help for our boy (trampolining, playdough, weighted blanket, etc). Although the best thing when he was younger was an indoor swing (it’s that vestibular input you mentioned!). If he went on that when he was starting to spiral out of control, he could usually calm himself back down, at least about 7 out of 10 times. Best of luck with all of this, it’s never easy to see your child upset, hugs! And thanks so much for linking up with #KCACOLS x