Back when the twiglets were babies, whenever I met a mum with older twins, one of the main questions I’d end up asking was ‘when does having twins get easier?’ Always spoken with a slight undertone of crazed desperation, meaning ‘please tell me it gets f**king easier, please, PLEASE!” 🤣 The other day, as I got the twiglets out of the car and they walked, both sensibly holding my hands, into their playgroup, it suddenly struck me that maybe we were actually there… Has it finally got easier?!
Now don’t get me wrong – it’s not easy, not by any means. We have plenty of sh*t days. H still has the most monumentally epic meltdowns, usually over very little, and has been super emotional recently. C can be an absolute diva. She knows what she wants, is extremely impatient to get it and will trample on anyone in her way (sometimes literally). And god help us all if she doesn’t get what she wants (which she frequently doesn’t because I’m a mean, horrible mummy 🤣). Strong-willed to the extreme.
Both can be soooooo naughty… H in a bit of a silly-hyperactive-annoying-little-puppy kind of way and C often in a more calculating push-all-mummy’s-buttons-until-she-completely-loses-her-sh*t kind of way 😖 And the times when both are at their naughtiest together… Well let’s just say you’ll find me mainlining wine of an evening (erm, that’ll be every evening then 🙈🤪🤣)
Since they turned three a couple of weeks ago, C has taken on her threenager role willingly, and seems to have a newly acquired attitude problem. She’s started answering back, defiantly refusing to do what she’s asked, telling me to go away etc. So that’s all thoroughly joyous. And don’t even get me started on potty-training H 🙈
And yet… When I think back, to the hazy fog of the newborn days… The tears (them and me), the rollercoaster of emotions, the struggle to breastfeed and then to pump, the guilt, the endless pooey nappies, the extreme sleep deprivation, the crying, just the sheer overwhelmingness (?🤔) of it all. And then a few weeks and months in… The reflux, the wind, the screaming when feeding, still the endless nappies… The relentless conveyor belt of feeding, burping, changing, rocking to sleep, sterilising bottles, washing clothes – over and over.
As they got older, the challenges changed. Suddenly they were on the move so I needed eyes in the back of my head 🤣 I’ve said this before but for me, nothing was quite as tough as the newborn period, yet still I’ve always found parenting twins hard. That’s probably an obvious thing to say, and I’m also aware I’m probably sounding very negative here. I don’t mean to. I love being a mum, even more so being a twin mum and I wouldn’t change a thing (although children who sleep might have been nice 😁!)
But it’s ok to admit it’s bloody hard, right? Even a few months ago, every outing was so stressful and anxiety-ridden because of H having no sense of danger and just wanting to bolt at every opportunity (I wrote about that issue in this post).
So being able to walk calmly across that car park holding the twiglets’ hands and chatting to them, without stressing, really did make me stop and think. No more lugging two heavy car seats at once. Or wearing one baby in a carrier and carrying the other on my hip. No more having to get the tank (aka buggy) out just for a 30-second walk from the car as it was the only way to do it safely. Or trying to walk them both and instantly regretting it as they tried to do a runner in separate directions in a busy car park. In a way I miss all those times as it signifies how much they’ve now grown up and matured, but I can’t help but appreciate the ease of things like a simple car transfer now.
So yes I still have sh*t days where I feel lonely and down and like I can’t cope. Yes I still need to have a rant sometimes when they’ve driven me to the edge. Yes the tantrums are something else and the challenges have just changed as they’ve got older… But even still, I think I can finally say that overall, we have turned a corner and parenting twins has got that little bit easier at age 3 😊
*Disclaimer: I reserve the right to fully revoke all of this if they’re being absolute turdmonkeys tomorrow 😉