10 Things I’ve Learned About Parenting

Obviously I am by no means a parenting expert (HA as if!) But in my five and a half years of being a parent, I have learned quite a bit! So I thought I’d share 10 things I’ve learned about parenting. I’d love to know if you can relate to any of them!

By the way this post is about parenting in general. If you’re looking for what I’ve learned about parenting twins, check out this post: 10 things I didn’t know about having twins

So here we go – in no particular order, 10 things I’ve learned about parenting:

1. Birth can be a really traumatic experience

I mean, I kind of knew that before I had the twiglets. But traumatic births happen to a lot more of us than I realised. I think people don’t really want to tell you as they don’t want to scare you or put you off. But when you talk to others, you find out that so many women were terrified at their birth and felt like absolute sh*te about it afterwards.

In the great scheme of things, my birth probably wasn’t all that bad. But I was definitely traumatised by it for a long time after. And having newborn twins meant there wasn’t a lot of time to process it all!

One thing I really wish I’d done is have some kind of birth debriefing session. I would really advise anyone who is traumatised by their birth to have one. I think it would have really helped me to be able to process everything that happened and deal with it better.

2. Breastfeeding isn’t magical for everyone

Another thing I kind of knew beforehand. While I was pregnant I felt like I wouldn’t put too much pressure on myself to breastfeed as I knew it would be tricky with two babies. However, the antenatal classes I had didn’t prepare me in the slightest for just how difficult it could be. They gave me the impression I’d be merrily whipping out my melons with a baby under each arm in no time.

The reality was of course very very different! Breastfeeding was nigh on impossible and my journey ended as quickly as it began. My emotions took me by surprise too. I was absolutely devastated and gave myself such a hard time about it all. Obviously this wasn’t ideal with the aforementioned two newborn babies to look after!

3. Toddlers are batsh*t crazy

I mean, really!! Just crazy! Toddlers will have a tantrum because you got them a snack after they asked you to get them a snack. Or because you wouldn’t let them pick up dog poo. Or because you gave them their dinner on a green plate. I love this article with more absurd reasons why people’s toddlers have thrown tantrums – so funny!

To be fair, I’d quite like to be a toddler and get away with having tantrums over ridiculous things…

4. People can be judgy twonks

I will never understand why people feel the need to judge others. But they do! I’m sure we’ve all been there… When you’ve braved taking your toddler out in public and they’ve thrown themselves dramatically on the ground having an epic tantrum. And you can just feel the judgemental eyes glaring at you as you desperately try to calm them down.

One of the worst experiences I had was in the supermarket when the twigs were babies. My narrow window in between feeds was nearly over, I was in the queue for the checkout and H started screaming for milk. He was not a patient baby and it was VERY loud. The old man in front of me said ‘you need to give him a good smack and shut him up.’ The checkout lady blustered about and said ‘oh no no no we don’t do that these days!’ Had I been less stressed, taken aback and generally shy I would have had a few choice words for him. As it was, I just stared at him open-mouthed in shock.

5. Parenting changes constantly

One of the most important things I’ve learned about parenting is that it changes All. The Time.

Just when you think you’ve got a routine sorted, or you’ve kinda got your kids sussed out and you halfway understand them, it will all change again.

They’ll suddenly drop a nap, or start getting up at 4am for no apparent reason, or just have a complete fricking personality transplant overnight. And you’ll be back to trying to figure out what the hell’s going on and what the hell you’re meant to be doing.

6. You will always be tired

I don’t think I’ve not been tired since the twigs were born. I mean, they sleep so much better these days but I still feel like I’ve been hit by a bus most mornings! Whyyy!

Well actually I know why. It’s because I do that thing of going to bed really late just so I can have some kid-free time in the evenings! Every morning I regret it and every evening I do it again.

7. You will always doubt yourself

Well I do anyway! I don’t think I’ve ever doubted myself quite so much since having children. Obviously I do have maternal instincts but I find it hard to trust them sometimes. I find I’m always second-guessing myself and worrying I’m making the wrong choices.

As I’m writing this, I’m wondering if this is just more of a me thing than a parenting thing! Maybe it’s just my personality… Do you doubt your parenting abilities or are you pretty confident in your choices?

8. The worry is never-ending

One of the main things I’ve learned about parenting is that the worry never stops.

EVER.

I really thought the worrying would diminish a lot once they started school. But it doesn’t. If anything, it’s worse because you’re not there and you don’t even know what goes on most of the time they’re at school! You rely on a small child, who talks totally random crap most of the time, to tell you what they’ve done all day. If you get an answer beyond ‘fine’ when you ask them how their day was, you’re doing well!

9. You’ll deal with stuff you never thought you could

Now obviously I mean the big shiz here like when kids get really poorly or when serious life stuff gets thrown at you.

But I’m also talking about the little things too…

Like the fact that I’m TERRIFIED of wasps but will manage to act calm when there’s a buzzy little b*stard clambering perilously close to one of the twigs’ eyeballs.

Or the fact that I cannot stand wobbly teeth but will convincingly say ‘oh lovely darling’ and refrain from puking, as C shows me one hanging from a thread on her gum for the 25th time.

There are lots more examples, given that I’m basically scared of everything but try not to influence the twigs too much with my wimpishness!

10. You’ll do anything for your kids

As much as I say I doubt my parenting abilities sometimes, I also know that I would do anything for my twiglets. It may be super tough at times but the love is like nothing I could ever have imagined. (Oh God that was a bit cheesy wasn’t it – soz!!)

So anyway there you have it! Ten things I’ve learned about parenting. I could probably add lots more but we’ll stop there or I’ll keep going forever! So tell me, what have you learned since becoming a parent?

Thanks for reading and I hope this gave you a little chuckle!

Til next time,

Hannah xx

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You might like to check out these honest parenting posts:

• Bedtime battles with twins
• When your toddler is a runner
• When your preschooler is still not sleeping through the night
• Twins starting school
• A letter to my twins on their 5th birthday