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This week I’ve totally had enough of lockdown. To be fair, I’m not even sure if we’re really in lockdown anymore, are we? I suppose we’re in a sort of limbo, while the lockdown is gradually being lifted. But anyway, as much as there have been some really lovely things about lockdown, it has been a flipping long time now hasn’t it?!
Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean that I think the lockdown should be lifted more quickly. On the contrary, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m really anxious about things returning to normal. I haven’t driven since before lockdown and I’m too nervous to take the twigs out to anywhere other than our local park by myself.
But this week has just felt harder than previous weeks. I think there are a few reasons why I’ve had enough of lockdown now:
The weather’s been sh*te
About halfway through the week I was just thinking about the fact that I’d been feeling pretty low and couldn’t seem to shake it off, and was wondering why. And then I realised how crap the weather was! Sunshine is such a massive mood booster for me. I wrote a post before when we had a rainy week about how much harder lockdown is in rubbish weather. So that’s definitely been a big factor in my lack of motivation this week.
I’m really bored of home learning
This is probably a terrible thing to admit, given that I’m a bloody teacher! But I still maintain trying to teach your own kids is far harder than trying to teach other people’s!!
For one thing, I have a LOT more patience with other people’s children. Plus they’re far more likely to actually listen to me, unlike my own, who are basically feral.
So yes, my motivation for home learning is pretty much through the floor now. I was totally ‘that parent’ at the start of lockdown, with the colour-coded timetable and the fun themed activities all planned out and organised.
Now I’m lucky if we’re all dressed before 11am and manage to complete one activity per day!
The twiglets have had enough
I really think the twigs are craving more social interaction now. They are so lucky to have had each other throughout this time, and their relationship has really blossomed. But I think C in particular, like so many kids, is really missing friends and just the chance to chat to other children.
I’ve been stressing about school
Yes I’m still stressing about school for H and C! Not so much the decision about sending them now. I’ve had a bit of a change of heart and am now leaning much more towards sending them. (Probably because of my last point haha!)
But their school just informed us that Reception won’t be going back until the 29th (all being well). And the class Whatsapp groups (I’m in two of course!) have been going craaazy! A lot of parents are not at all happy with the delay.
I love the twigs’ school and I’m confident that everything they’re doing is in the interests of safety. For example, they’ll be having bubbles of just 8 for Reception, whereas a lot of other schools are sticking with 15, which is the government’s recommendation. But this means they can’t accommodate Year 1, Reception and Year 6 all at once. Hence the delay as the Year 1s will go in for two weeks then stop so that Reception can come in instead.
I know I’m in a privileged position as I’m only working one day a week. I can’t imagine how difficult this time must have been for all the parents working full time while parenting little ones, delivering home learning etc. So I totally get their frustration. It’s just a very tricky situation.
I’ve been worrying about wider issues
And of course there’s been so much heavy stuff in the media over the past week. So much to think about and so much to worry about…
I’ve been reading loads about anti-racism and trying really hard to educate myself. I have started having conversations with the twiglets and have ordered some books to start the process of further diversifying their bookshelves. A long way to go, but I feel like my eyes have been opened over the last week. I’m quite ashamed at how ignorant I was! (And still am!)
And of course there’s so much about coronavirus in the media too. I still feel worried that we’ll have a second wave as it seems like so many people are completely ignoring social distancing now. I suppose there’s no point in worrying about what will happen – it’s not like I have any control over it! We’ll just have to wait and see.
It’s just been SO LONG now!
The main reason I’ve had enough of lockdown now is that it’s been so long! I mean, it really has been flipping ages hasn’t it?? I’ve actually lost count completely of how many weeks it’s been. And while there are some elements I will definitely want to hold on to when it’s over, it has been intense!
The ironic thing is that I know, if the twigs do get to go back to school soon, I am going to miss them so much! I’ll probably be so sad once they’re not here all day every day. Which of course then makes me feel guilty for moaning, because I should be making the most of this time and appreciating it. And I was… About three weeks ago! It would just be nice to have five minutes of peace without someone whinging, asking me for something or trying to kill their twin!
But there are still some lovely times
So I’ve chosen these photos for Living Arrows this week to cheer myself up basically! We had a really nice afternoon (in between rain!) at our local park (of course!) We’re very lucky that our local park is absolutely massive. So even though we’ve spent so much time there over the past few months, we haven’t got bored of it as there’s so much to explore!
The twigs had so much fun playing on this wobbly log! We stayed there for ages while they walked back and forth across it. Their balance got so much better. And then they spent a long time taking turns to jump off it. Of course being competitive and trying to outdo each other! It was a really lovely, relaxed and fun afternoon, during a week of everyone feeling a bit at the end of their tethers. Just what we needed.
How are you getting on? Have you had enough of lockdown now? I hope everyone is doing ok!
Thanks for reading. Til next time,